Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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