so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize