How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
And then he peed in my hair
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