im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
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Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
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They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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