If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
