hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize