Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
