I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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