wanna go halves on a baby?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
