yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
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This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
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Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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