omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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