So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
