Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
areolas are like halos for boobs.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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