Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
