I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
