Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I believe in your delicious
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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