so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just found puke in my bra..
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
