so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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