You can't special order awesome
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
