idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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