Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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