I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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