Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
