My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
