Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
