East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you traded sex for a burrito?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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