Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
