You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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