Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
