i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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