remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
