At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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