brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
