Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
