i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
