why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
