I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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