at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize
