hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Vodka?
Forever.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
