so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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