I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Less talking, more tequila
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
