i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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