sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
