I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
3 2 1 whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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