You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize