i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Your cock deserves a montage
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
