well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
