Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
