Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We got so high we made milksteak
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
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I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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