so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
