I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
