There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I forget how to act sober
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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