Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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