btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
