2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
