Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
