I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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