Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
