You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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