Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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