Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
