Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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