drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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