i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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