she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
