He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I pour the whiskey from now on
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
